Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Today was my Aunt Shirley's funeral.

I took the day off to be with my Dad. He came into town early in the morning, had a nap at my house while I went to see my doctor (for what, as it turns out, wasn't my annual physical but just a follow-up), and then we both went to my Aunt Patsy's to meet up with some of the family. From there we went to the funeral home (Scarborough) and then out to the gravesite (Markham) and then back to Patsy's for a family gathering of sorts. Everyone held together pretty well I think, Patsy had a bit of a weep at the cemetary, but that's to be expected.

I have mixed feelings about today. A lot of the people at the funeral, well, I just didn't know them - didn't recognize most of them.

My family, both sides, are from New Brunswick - some time in the 60s Shirley made the move to Toronto, and as the family came to visit, they all realized they wanted to live here too, so eventually everyone lived here in Toronto. But when I was two we moved out to Burlington - not very far really, but it meant that we never had the whole hanging out with family thing.

I've met my various cousins before but really I only truly remember Wilma's kids as they were the ones we'd come into town to see usually.

Anyway, at the funeral and at Patsy's later on, I felt like quite an outsider. I was comfortable chatting with my Dad of course, and my grandmother, and Wilma, and I was okay with my other aunts who were there and Patsy's husband and Wilma's and Patsy's kids, but I felt like I had no common ground with them at all. It makes me sad, by moving out of Toronto I lost a connection that I'll probably never get back. I don't think it was a bad decision to move, I just wonder what life would be like if we hadn't.

To be honest, though, some of the people there were, let's face it, people I'd never have any social connection to beyond blood relation, but some I think I'd like to connect closer with.

Shirley Murray 1936-2006

**saved as draft while Blogger was down**

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