Friday, November 07, 2008

Dear (Anonymous) Pub

We’ve been coming to your establishment for about nine years now. Once a month, every month. We, in fact, have a standing reservation.

Why, then, do you always break in your new waiters on us? It seems like every month we have someone different. Why do you do this without giving them even the most basic of instructions - ‘they come and go over the course of the evening so separate bills is a good idea’, ‘if you visit them often they drink way more’, etc. How hard is that, really? And, in fact, have you lied to your staff and told them that running individual bills instead of one massive one will crash the register? Is that why they insist on doing it, even when we tell them the evening will run smoother if they do separate bills? Do they also not realize the chances of them getting stuck with extraneous charges on the bill that no one will admit to rises exponentially as the number of customers on that bill increases?

Come on guys - I realize we’re the ‘bad group’, the ones no one wants to serve because we tip badly, but why do you think that is? The service for our group is really terrible almost every month. And really, the tipping badly thing only happens when there’s one huge bill and bad service - when they’re broken up, and we have good service, the tips get better...

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