Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Cabin In The Woods: film is still alive

It's ALIVE!

Joss Whedon, that amazing creator of all things awesome (Buffy, Toy Story, Angel, Firefly, Serenity, Dr Horrible, Dollhouse), has taken the predictable-teens-terrorized-in-the-woods trope and, mad scientist-like, spliced it with a bit of this and a dash of that to create something completely unexpected and riveting. Filmed three years ago, it has navigated the maze of bankruptcy (MGM filed for Chapter 11) and moving house (Distribution picked up by Lion's Gate) to finally see gloom of night to rave reviews. Spoilers ahead!

Well, when I say spoilers, I'm really not going to say too much -- it would be nasty to take all the surprises away. So let me just mention a few things I really liked.

Bradley. Fucking. Whitford. — That's right, how did I miss that he was going to be in it? Absolutely delightful. The small talk about baby planning, his disappointment over the choice in the cellar, the conversation with the Harbinger ('am I on speakerphone?') Even better? Bradley Fucking Whitford with an AUTOMATIC RIFLE. Take a deep breath, ladies.

The stereotypes — Or, rather, the non-stereotypes. The Jock is a psychology major. The Brain is sporty and fit to boot. The Bimbo has to be chemically dumbed-down. The Fool who sees through it all. The Virgin who is, well, not. 

The choices — Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain! Angry Molesting Tree! Zombie Redneck Torture Family (aka The Buckners)! The Sugar Plum Fairy! And Kevin. Whoever that is.

The dialogue — Kept me laughing the whole time. Two words: 'husband's bulge'...

...and pretty much everything else. 

Something to nitpick about, if that's even as far as I would go: I thought something would be made about who was really the fool and who was really the virgin. Because, clearly, Marty was no fool, and Dana was no virgin. 

My faith in modern horror has been restored! I saw it twice, and you KNOW I'll get the DVD as soon as it's out. Hollywood, take note: the reason people haven't been going to the theatre is NOT because they're not allowed to text: it's because you haven't been making awesome movies like this one. Do so, and you shall be handsomely rewarded.

Oh, one last thing, a small (well, physically big) thing really: the hand? At the end? Should have been tentacles. You know why.

Have you seen it? What did you think?

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